FRIDAY FLICK: 'THE GOODS: LIVE HARD. SELL HARD.

Starring: Jeremy Piven
Directed by Neal Brennan

Review by Vincent Rouse

In 'The Goods: Think Hard, Sell Hard', Jeremy Piven (known for great roles like Ari Gold on Entourage, The Dean in Old School, and Buddy Israel in Smokin’ Aces) plays the role of Don Ready, a “gun-for-hire” used-car salesman. He is hired to the task of selling every car on the lot in a random town in sunny California, and meets some interesting characters while there. Sounds like the premise of a pretty entertaining comedy, right? Wrong.

If you couldn’t tell, I’m a huge Piven fan. I had high hopes for this movie, but those hopes were torn down by ridiculous plot lines, poor improv, and terrible cinematography. Don’t get me wrong: Piven still did a pretty decent job in this movie, but all he had to push were really cheap jokes and slapstick humor. Almost all 'one-on-one' scenes in this flick seemed completely improvised, with no clear set of directions, and no ultimate destination.


Prime example: One particular scene included Piven making an off-hand insult about the Japanese (channeling Pearl Harbor anger) while an Asian man stood next to him. The rest of the crowd, energized by Don Ready's powerful and convincing oratory, grabbed the Asian man and started beating him. (A racism joke...whee.) Afterwards, Don Ready realizes the chaos he has spawned, and yells at the mob to stop the attack. What follows is a three and a half minute improvised 'joke' about hate crimes...the scene was pure slapstick and distasteful (like many of the scenes in the picture), and in a regular 'Will Ferrel'-style comedy, it would have lasted about 30 seconds. Unfortunately, the scene drags on and on until the audience no longer things it's funny...just lame.


When the rare event happens of two characters actually interacting on a personal level (and the even rarer event of decent acting happens), the scene will drag on for far too long, and at the end scene, you'll be treated to a wonderful anti-climax where you find out the main conflict didn't really matter anyway (much like this movie as a whole). I really got the feeling that this film didn't have a script, and the director just told everyone to 'be funny' when he called action.


And while we're on that note, the entire last half of the movie is filmed so horribly that you'll wonder why you even paid money to be subjected to it. This isn't 'shaky cam' effect. It feels like a 'we-don't-have-time-to-set-up-a-tripod-because-we-just-came-up-with-this-scene' effect. It feels like watching a student film. I felt 80% of the time as if the director really didn't care what happened on screen...just so long as they could make the 90-minute time mark.


The film does have a few good moments, however. Will Farrell (who clearly was called in for a single day of work) has a classic cameo, though he only interacts with Piven twice briefly. Ed Helms (The Hangover) plays the son of a competing car lot's owner, and an upcoming boy (er...'Man Band') performer. Next to Piven, Helms provides the only breath of fresh-air when it comes to acting ability in this train wreck.


Overall, The Goods simply doesn't live up to its name. Although I'm sure some people may really enjoy certain comedy bits, it all was a bit too much for me. Was it crude comedy? Yes. But was it good crude comedy? Not by far. 'Don Ready' will leave you begging for campy frat-pack movies to return to the good-old days of 'Ricky Bobby' and 'Ron Burgundy'.

If you're going to go out and watch a comedy this weekend, use a little common sense and Think Hard about skipping this one.


4/10

Pros: Funny characters, Farrell cameo, Jeremy Piven
Cons: Everything else